15 September 2016


Woke up in the fresh body & mind. When I looked up straight outside then found this beautiful sky, feeling so much luckier & bless. What kind of handwork is this, i'm overwhelming immediately. Life is so amazing in the meantime. Even though we don't have enough time enjoyed it but yet the wonderful is still there, never too late to show up the beautifulness. Looked to the sky this morning say good morning to the universe and fell bless is more than enough. Everything could be happening, all are for our good sake. Enjoy rest of the day, worthy to be lived.


There is a time when you do something good but people can't appreciate that. You're trying to explain many things, many times, put many words but they won't listen at all. They more believe what conclusion created by circumstances. Sometimes we do something right but still wrong. You do the best but people still get some of judgmental, position theirself to be a judges on other's life.

Pointing fingers to hell off other's life is very easy, that would be a human being favorite action. But can we see & understand all reason behind their action instead of jumping into wrong judgemental. My father teach me to forgive nomatter how bad people treated me. Nomatter how much pain they were caused. Nomatter how hurt I am.

I don't know how to hate people. The one that I know for sure, I always have a heart to forgive.

Life now is a stage when a lot people involved with their own needs. Life now is a place to put other's life down & bad. When we are in the very bad situation don't think that your friend would help you. Your very close friend, even someone you trust will backsliding you. But don't judge the book by its cover. They do that for their own's sake. No need to ask their action. Just understand them.

You know what, God has an eyes. He looks around. He'll help those who needed the most.

24 January 2016


I was thinking that, this would be as easy as should be. But then realizing me with tons of consciousness that isn't at all. It's hard. I even not close to the 'new revelation' that let it be would be a good way. When he leave me, he brought a half of me with him. He is always be my flashlight in every single inch of my ways. When he gone, the flashlight disappear suddenly. And i'm like in my darkness again. I find myself difficult to breath. Difficult to do what the most easiest things in my life. I think i'm ready but i'm not.....

I'm, maybe, be the one who cry less when he passed away.
I'm, maybe the only one who not let anyone put their palms in my shoulders to gave strength. 
I'm maybe, the only one who still keep in smile around.
But now i realize that was only a mask. I'm broken when he passed away.
I want him back, but he won't be back. He was finish his journey.
Now i know that i missed him so much.

I just want to say this: some things are unforgivable, and some parents doing anything than loving and supporting sons & daughters are just a few of them. 

But you dad, has always said that you could never tell me what to do, only advise me.

You has said, you would never force my hand in anything, knowing it would make me unhappy.

You has said, you would always be there, despite my choices and you would make things better if it was the wrong choice.

And you did it. Many times. 

"That what parents do", you said, every times i asked why.

Not having you around is really a very hard time for me. But i do realize that i haven't own you forever. There is always a time when i have to let you go. And the time is now. But you know dad, you're the only one hero in my life. I owe you happiness. I know the only one happiness could be is when you found me happy. But how can it be if you're not around. Rest in peace dad. and my life goes on, have to. I never promise it would be oke. But i'm trying.